Little Bo Roxas
by cleartempest
Summary: And why is Roxas in a dress? Roxas/axel Complete crack/smut. Not recommended to anyone with good mental health...


This fiction is not intended for anyone who does not wish to become insane…

This is Roxas ON TOP of Axel. Yep.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or the nursery rhyme I am about to defile. I DO, however, own this piece of crappy spell checked porn. So…yeah, no stealies.

I actually did this fic a while back when people were being kicked off for explicit fics, so I never posted it here. But seeing as there are other…explicit fics, I thought, 'Meh, why not?' XD

In case you don't know who the hell Little Bo Peep is, here are the words to the rhyme the way I remember it from preschool…

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep  
And can't tell where to find them  
Leave them alone,  
And they'll come home  
Wagging their tails behind them

Little Bo Peep fell fast asleep  
And dreamt she heard them bleating  
But when she awoke,  
She found it a joke  
For they were all still fleeting

Then up she took her little crook  
Determined for to find them  
She found them indeed,  
But it made her heart bleed  
For they'd left all their tails behind them!

It happened one day, as Bo Peep did stray  
Into a meadow hard by  
There she espied  
Their tails side by side  
All hung on a tree to dry

She heaved a sigh and wiped her eye  
And over the hillocks she raced;  
And tried what she could,  
As a shepherdess should  
That each tail should be properly placed

Commence Chapter

It felt odd to be wearing a dress. Never had he felt embarrassment and poise at the same time. He fisted the pink lace; he tentatively raised his eyes to look at himself in the reflection of his mirror.

He was slightly impressed. The pink and yellow dress had looked like a disaster of ribbon and lace when it was sprawled across his bed. But it took on another look when he wore it.

I made it hot, he thought with some degree of pride.

In the safety of his own room, he turned and posed in several different positions before reaching for his bonnet.

It was the bonnet that disturbed him.

He had some hope that the bonnet will not be as revolting as it seemed. The dress had seemed overwhelmingly ridiculous on his bed, but he could not take his eyes off of himself when he wore it. But, even sitting on his bed, the monstrosity of the cap made his insides churn.

He laced the soft ribbon around his chin. Then he reached up and found that the top of the bonnet was ridiculously high. He winced as he touched it with his fingertips. It stood so much over his head. He could only guess how preposterous it must have looked, because he refused to glance back at his mirror.

He sighed exasperatedly; no longer did he care about how appealing he was to himself in the dress. The bonnet ruined EVERYTHING. He took the Shepard-girl's staff in his hand and squeezed the cold white metal. Before leaving his room, he had to run through his head the incident that got him into this predicament one last time.

The night before, he, Axel, and Demyx had been lounging around in Axel's room, bored as usual. One would think that all of the members of such an influential organization would have an endless roll of missions to attend to. This was not the case, and it was painfully obvious that night when the three challenged Luxord to a game of poker.

"I accept." Luxord said in a tone that epitomized his obvious superiority. His British accent made the two words ooze with further confidence. "What's the bet? We have no need for money."

"Oh, that." Axel turned to Demyx and Roxas.

Demyx presented what the trio had in mind. "Uh, we were thinking that the winner will get to boss the losers around for a week or so."

"Hmm… I have no use for slaves. Why don't we make it simpler for you to win? Let's agree that if ANY of you win, I lose the bet. Each of you will get to tell me what to do for a week. But if I win, I get to come up with something...creative for the three of you."

They were all sick bastards, in a way. It was an inopportune night to forget that all the members of Organization XIII were capable of some very twisted thinking. "Okay, you're on!" Roxas set the bargaining chips on the table, an unopened bag of pretzels from Axel's pantry. He tore open the packaging and counted out thirty pieces for each of the participants.

"Lovely, let's get started." Luxord began to shuffle the deck of cards he carried everywhere with him. But Axel protested.

"No! Who knows what freaky things you're gonna do with YOUR cards?"

"Fine." Luxord's cards dissolved into dark smoke and traveled up his sleeve. "It's not like it matters." He folded his gloved fingers together and set them on the table.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I think it's quite obvious. Fill the ante pot." Luxord threw a pretzel to the center of the table and the others followed suit.

"Tch. It's not obvious to ME." Axel took out his own cards and shuffled them. Then he dealt three cards to each person around the circular glass table.

Roxas was happy with his hand, although he remembered to keep a poker face. It would be fair to say that next to Axel and Demyx, he was a pretty good player. Upon receiving his cards, Demyx had gritted his teeth in disappointment. Axel kept a pretty straight face, but Roxas knew how much the fire handler acted on impulse.

Luxord called first. "One pretzel." He slid a piece of the salty snack food it front of him.

"Two pretzels." Roxas used two of his finger to push the pretzels forward.

Demyx was biting his bottom lip and his eyebrows were furrowed. "Uhh…umm…..I fold." He put his cards facedown on the table and looked very relieved.

"Three pretzels." Axel presented the appropriate number. He then picked up the rest of the cards and dealt another round.

"Four pretzels." Luxord decided.

"Four." Roxas decided to play it safe. His new card would not be helping him out too much.

"Five." Axel grinned. He then repeated the whole card dealing process.

Roxas was more satisfied with this one. "Five."

Luxord also rose to five.

Axel started to get bored and jittery. "Ten." He counted out ten of his pretzels and pushed the pile forward.

Luxord arched an eyebrow at the pyro. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

"Yeah, just go."

To Roxas's surprise, Luxord raised it to twelve. He began to wonder of he should continue. "Twelve."

"What? You SCARED, Roxas?" Axel teased.

"Shut up and deal."

Axel dealt the last round of cards.

Not so bad, Roxas thought upon seeing his card. He was definitely going to stay in. "Fifteen."

Axel had already scowled at his cards and slapped them down, "I fold." He said, taking a pretzel from the bag and munching on it rather violently.

Luxord push fifteen pretzels forward. "Let's see what you got." He put his cards face up on the table.

Flush, ha. Good but not good enough.

"Full house." Roxas sneered, taking all of the betted pretzels.

"Well done, Roxas. I hope you are able to keep it up." Luxord didn't seem to care that he currently had the least number of pretzels.

"What's that supposed to mean?" One could not help but to ask that question around Luxord.

"You'll see. Axel, deal."

Demyx folded again after the ante pretzel. Roxas folded after the first round. I'll still have the most pretzels, he thought satisfactorily to himself.

Axel laid down his cards. "Straight, aces high." He ran his fingers through his shock of red hair, he looked pleased. "Spread em."

"Four of a kind." Luxord showed his hand to a dumbfounded and wide-eyed Axel and took all of the pyro's pretzels.

"What the…Aw, man. Now I'm out of the game. Roxas, you better win, okay?"

"I can feel the love." Demyx said sarcastically.

Axel remained the dealer.

Demyx went out on a limb…and lost all of his pretzels to Roxas.

"NO WAY!"

"Quit your sniveling, twat." Axel grumbled. "Roxas, you're our only hope. I don't intend to see what this sick fuck calls 'creative.'"

"Mind your manners, young Axel." Luxord shook his head and wagged a finger at Axel.

Axel's mouth opened as if he wanted to say something, but closed it. He opened it again, and closed it…again. He did this repeatedly, like a rabid goldfish. Roxas could see he was probably trying very hard NOT to remove Luxord's finger with his teeth. "Roxas, if you don't beat this British freak of nature, I'll BEAT the CRAP out of YOU."

"WHAT? That's not fair, you dumbass."

"Dumbass…ha." Axel's eyes caught a manical glow. "Ha.HA.AHAHAHAHAHA. I'm a dumbass?!"

"Yeah, and a loser too." Demyx added quite imprudently.

"YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Roxas heard the fire controller lunge at the ditzy sitar player with an unearthly battle cry. Demyx had only just begun to realize the extent of the damage the words would cause for his rear. Yep, he's in for an ass whuppin. Roxas predicted.

"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Demyx was screaming girlishly and hiding behind random objects.

Luxord pinched the bridge of his nose. "Please, Axel. A gentleman would never strike a lady…"

Axel stopped and amusement washed over his features. He scanned Demyx's figure from head to toe, as if he were checking him out. "Haha. You're LAAADYYY." Axel whistled inappropriately.

Demyx's cheeks turned a deep shade of red. "I…uh…I…UGH! AXEL!" Demyx sat down on the bed, crossed his arms, and pouted.

"Is it the time of the month? I'm VERY SORRY, please don't bitch out and bite my head off." Axel was leaning really close to Demyx. He looked like he was having way too much fun.

"AXELLL! STOP IT!" Demyx looked harassed beyond description.

Roxas shook his head. "Shall we continue?"

"I would like that." Luxord took over Axel's dealing job.

The game continued for quite some while. Roxas was slowly losing all of his pretzels to Luxord. He would have to risk everything the next turn to save himself, otherwise he was doomed for sure.

"Straight flush, jack high." Pretty sweet hand, he'd say.

"Straight flush, QUEEN high." Luxord reached across the table at took every last one of Roxas's pretzels.

Roxas looked at the cards in incredulity. What were the odds? "My…pretzels."

"I guess I win." Luxord said. He assumed his thinking pose. Now lets see, what is the most humiliating thing a 'sick fuck' can think of?"

Axel was in the middle of asking Demyx out on a date because he was such a 'pretty LAAAADDY' he stopped mid sentence and turned to Roxas, all glee was gone from his face, "You…LOST?!"

Yes, that was what happened. When he woke up, there was a dress on top of him and a bonnet looming terrifyingly…high over his head. Damn bonnet. He cringed and wondered whether or not Axel and Demyx had to wear a dress as well. That was a pretty scary thought. He left his room to meet up with them.

He got to clunk his staff on the ground when he walked; it was oddly fun to do so.

He turned the corner and almost jumped out of his pink and yellow outfit when he found a gigantic peanut leaning against the wall.

It turned its head toward him and its jaw nearly dropped to the floor. "R-RO-ROXAS???" Demyx the peanut started laughing hysterically. "YOU…LOOK…SO…FUNNY!" He pinched one of Roxas's cheeks.

He gawked at Demyx's ludicrous costume. Laughter gripped him rather excruciatingly around the middle. "BWAHAHAA!!!" With a great deal of difficulty, he managed to say with a very unstable and shaky voice, "What… is with… the peanut suit?" He bit his lip.

"Luword said I had to narrate the story of Little Bo Peep and her…sh-sh-SHEEP! AHHHHHHHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!" Demyx started to laugh so hard, it looked painful. Roxas watched as Demyx dropped on all fours and fell to his side, clutching his stomach. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAA!!!"

There was giant peanut…rolling on the floor laughing…it was so bizarre.

Roxas was already laughing at Demyx when he turned around and found a much traumatized looking Axel in a fully decked out sheep suit. His black pants and black sleeves were typical, but the white fluff that now covered his body was…not.

Roxas lurched. "PTTFF…" He covered his mouth, now he had some idea what Demyx felt like. He thought he had it under control, and then he glanced up at the fluffy little pretend ears sitting in Axel's unruly hair. He soon joined the crying Demyx on the ground. His sides felt like they were going to split open.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

"You two look pretty stupid yourselves." Axel wasn't the least bit amused. He crossed his arms and looked away.

"HA….ha…" Roxas was now leaning against the wall, after chuckles still ripped out of his throat. He glanced over to his side. He was slightly worried about the howling peanut. He couldn't tell whether or not Demyx was laughing or crying.

"OH! MY STOMACH HUUURTSSSS!!!" Demyx had attempted to rise, but his legs gave away. All he could do at that current time and place was sit on the floor and try to stop laughing.

The only thing as bizarre as an oversize peanut rolling around on the ground laughing was a peanut clutching its sides in pain, from laughing too hard. "GAH! OH! My stomach… haheee…HAHAHAHA!!!"

"Nuts." Axel shook his head. "Just…nuts."

Then a wisp of shadow appeared. Luxord stepped out of the dark portal.

He only gave a very amused smile. "Unfortunately, I have a mission to attend to. But I don't want you to get out of character, either."

He threw his deck of cards in the air, they vanished. "The shadows will remind you when you...slip. Remember, Demyx, you have to narrate everything Little Bo Peep and her sheep does. Roxas, you have to stay in that dress, and Axel," he threw knee pads and wrist guards at the confused looking pyro, "get on all fours."

"You twisted-"

"Oh, and for the record, sheep do not talk." Luxord started to laugh manically and he vanished as suddenly as he came.

"Screw Luxord, I'm not gonna crawl around mooing or making whatever godamn noise sheep make! What the?! AHHH! FUCK THAT HURTS!" A few cards have emerged from the shadows and were whipping at Axel's ankles. "Okay, FINE, Geez." He put on the knee pads and wrist guards and got on his hands and knees. "Mooo…OW! Why is it still going?!"

Roxas couldn't think of anything that epitomized 'wolf in sheep's clothing' more literally than this.

Demyx offered to help, "I think sheep go 'baaa,' Axel."

"BAA?! What kind of oblivion-forsaken-mother-of-a-tortoise animal would make THAT unearthly noise?"

"He's right, Axel."

"Uh." Axel was still disturbed by their costumes beyond comprehension. It seemed to take whatever willpower he had to remain calm. "Baa. Baa."

A nuclear explosion would have sounded more like a sheep. Axel's imitation of bleating was pathetic, but the cards stopped whipping at him.

"I guess that's what Luxord meant by 'slip'." Demyx reasoned.

F

or the next few hours, Demyx had to follow around Axel and Roxas, describing everything that the two of them did.

"Little Bo Peep, opens the door to his, uh…her, bathroom. He, I mean, SHE stands in front of the toilet and glares at the narrator." Demyx was beginning to get a little bored.

Roxas continued to glare, "Damn it, Demyx, TURN AROUND!"

The peanut turned to face the wall and Roxas hiked up the skirt of his dress.

Upon hearing the usual potty noise, Demyx continued to narrate, "Little Bo Peep relieves herself in..."

"SHUT UP!"

"The toilet. Don't want to get thrashed by some playing cards now, do we?"

Roxas let out an exasperated sigh.

"She agitatedly lets out a sigh."

Roxas decided it was in his best interest to stop talking.

"Her sheep glares daggers at nothing in particular. Little Bo Peep washes her hands."

Demyx sighed. "This is BORING, can't you do something that will be FUN?" The trio walked into the hallway.

Roxas had never felt so annoyed in his existence. FUN? The peanut wants to have some FUN? He'll give him FUN. Still deciding not to talk, he walked in front of Axel.

"Little Bo Peep faces her sheep."

Then Roxas dropped on his knees and fisted Axel's hair, angling Axel's bewildered face up to meet his.

The flabbergasted sheep's eyes shot open as his herder kissed him. Roxas seemed to know that he could use Axel's surprise to his advantage, as he was dominating the kiss.

Demyx stiffened, "Uhh…Little Bo Peep kisses her sheep." With horror and enthrallment, he watched the scene unfold. Axel now had his eyes shut and was moaning into Roxas's mouth.

"Let's give Demyx the show of his non-lifetime." Roxas whispered as he ran his hands seductively down Axel's arms, impishly grinning at the shuddering the sheep clothed one made.

Axel gave a look that consented. Roxas had left him too aroused to even consider otherwise.

Roxas got behind Axel and pulled the end of Axel's soft "wool" over his lower back, then he yanked down the sheep's pants and left it pooled around his knees, the redhead's firm behind was now in plain view.

Demyx flushed and spluttered, "Duh… uh….Little Bo Peep….shears her sheep." He could feel an uncomfortable pressure between his legs. Damn, he thought, he retracted his arms into his spacious peanut suit and slipped a hand underneath the waist band of his boxers.

Roxas had blown off wearing anything at all underneath his dress. He liked feeling of his legs rubbing together whenever he walked.

He got in front of Axel and pulled up the skirt of his dress. "Suck it good, it'll be all the lube you get."

Axel blushed when he heard the cute blonde sound so dominating. To tell the truth, it REALLY turned him on. He took the other boy's length into his mouth and obediently began to suck.

Roxas shut his eyes and gripped at the soft wool of Axel's sheep suit. "Ohhhh, yes." He ground his arousal into the caverns of Axel's warm mouth. Axel managed to accommodate all of him, causing a pleasure induced cry to rip out of Roxas.

"Ahh!"

Of course Demyx had to stop the cards that were slashing around painfully at his ankles.

"Uh, her sheep sucks her off." He whimpered, dragging down his boxers as much as his peanut costume would allow him. He managed to free his painful erection from its pesky polyester confinement.

Roxas noticed that the dress was almost smothering his poor red headed sheep. He pulled out. He was lubed up enough. He got on his knees behind Axel and spread the two perfect globes apart.

"ENghh." Axel had to bite his bottom lip when he felt a tongue tease at his puckered entrance. He did not want the cards to come back…

"She…prepares her sheep." Demyx's voice was airy. He was trying to get off on his own.

Roxas spat into Axel's ass and slid two saliva coated fingers in.

"Oh! Er…baaaa…" Axel bleated quickly to stave off the cards.

Roxas drove his fingers in deeper to search for that one spot. He grazed the sheep's prostate.

"Ah! Roxas!" The cards whipped at his wrists. "GAHHH!!!Baa…ahaaa." It was hard to remember to bleat.

Roxas retracted his fingers and threw his dress over the sheep's lower back. He positioned himself appropriately and grabbed the sheep costume at the shoulders with his fists. Then he sunk into Axel's tight heat, the walls pulled him in deliciously. A lusty moan escaped from his throat.

"OHHH!"

Demyx gasped, wide eyed. "Little Bo Peep rams into her sheep, please pardon the pun." He had tried to alleviate himself with a pathetic attempt at humor. It didn't work. His breath hitched as he fisted himself more rapidly. "Holy crap…" he murmured, his face contorting slightly at his own administrations. He kept his eyes on the obscenity in front of him.

Roxas was panting heavily. He didn't want to stop, but his bonnet was threatening to fall off with every thrust he made and his calves were killing him. "Damn...height difference." With a knee, he kicked Axel's thighs apart, lowering the sheep's body.

Axel lost his balance temporarily at this unexpected movement. He looked back.

The blonde was able to penetrate deeper with the new position. He rammed into Axel's sweet spot.

"Ah! Baaaaa." He faced forward again and backed into Roxas, indication that he wanted more.

Roxas grabbed onto Axel's sheep costume with one hand and used the other hand to mind the redhead's neglected hard on.

"Aaaaahhhhhh! Oh!" then he quickly added. "Baa-haa..." He bit back any further noises that might bring about the cards.

Roxas was very close. His heightened senses were concentrated on that area between his legs, from the feel of the wooly costume rubbing against his sensitive inner thighs to the hot tightening feeling of eventual release. On top of that, Axel was whimpering from the effort of controlling all the noises that he wanted to make. It drove Roxas crazy. "Come on." His hand was becoming increasingly slick with the other boy's pre cum. "I know you want to." He struck Axel's sensitive bundle of nerves. Hard.

Axel gasped and, in a burst of blinding sexual euphoria, came into Roxas's hand.

Roxas groaned as he thrust deep into Axel, releasing his seed. "Oh, yeah." He then proceeded to collapse onto the red head's back. The wool felt pleasantly soft and absorbent against his flushed sweaty cheeks. He continued to pump Axel, milking him.

"She... gods..." Demyx grunted and relieved himself into his peanut costume before continuing. "She and her sheep come."

Xemnas grumbled at the absence of Axel from the meeting. He needed to send Axel on a mission to Castle Oblivion and had specifically asked him to meet for the all important details. Annoyed, he went to look for Axel.

Upon stepping out of his dark portal, Xemnas found out that he shouldn't have bothered.

"Ohh! Baa!"

"Who's your herder? Bleat my name, sheep."

Xemnas's eyes widened in shock. Not only was Roxas in a dress and on top of Axel, Demyx was watching them in a peanut suit and was obviously touching his unmentionables.

"ERRRRRGGH!" He pinched the bridge of his nose. Damn kids. He turned around and left. He could feel a nosebleed coming on.

Conclude Chapter

Oo

Heh… so what did you think? Writing "baaaa" everywhere killed most of the sexiness for me . Hopefully you didn't lose TOO much of your mind…

I want to know whether or not anyone else thought this was funny. So review, okay? I'll love you for it. No, wait, don't be scared… I won't over-love you… I promise.


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